Gasthof Zur Gemutlichkeit

Urk... can't breathe... sinus filled with meat... glurk... (Dies, Smiling)

Or at least that is how I felt after leaving Gasthof, but I get ahead of myself once again.

Inside a deceptively small looking building is a beer hall style restaurant filled to the brim with patrons. As is my style, I had no intention of making reservations and explain this to the hostess. I'm not entirely sure what she says in reply because half of the people in the restaurant just started shouting, "Oi! Oi! Oi!" When I ask her to repeat herself it turns out she was apologising to me because the only table they have is a little table for two.

I look over at my companion, do some quick math, and realize that a table for two is, in fact, the perfect amount of table for us and wonder why the hostess is apologizing considering that it is the only sitting space left in the entire establishment and it is immediately available.

We are seated promptly, and in the time it takes for the waiter to arrive I look around. The waitresses are dashing about in blue dresses with white aprons, giving them the appearance of the classic German maid. Old men wander between the tables making small talk with patrons and playing their accordions. The entire establishment is alive with activity as people sing and toast and cheer. There is joy in the air.

Somewhere an Aryan queen begins to shout, "ZIGGY ZAGGY, ZIGGY ZAGGY!'

Her people respond, "Oi! Oi! Oi!"

Beer arrives and I drink along with the rest of the revelling crowd.

"Oi! Oi! Oi!"

I'm beginning to have trouble thinking in the cacophony, but I can't help but to think that I am in a very happy place as I gaze at the woodwork interior.

"Oi! Oi! Oi!"

Oi, that's getting irritating.

"Oi! Oi! Oi!"

Conversation struggles to take place.

"Oi! Oi! Oi!"

Oh hey, the food has arrived. Surprisingly fast-

"Oi! Oi! Oi!"

-service considering how-

"Oi! Oi! Oi!"

-packed the place is.

Oh good, it quieted down enough that my companion and I can be civil again. The food is amazing and only comes in one portion size: too much. I stuff myself with sausage and beer and potatoes and brown gravy. It is all delicious. I highly recommend getting a platter for two, if you bring three or four people you might actually finish it. Also it ends with a shot of Apfelcorn liqueur (sweet and delicious) and you can get some snuff as an after dinner mint.

If you don't bring that many people I suggest just getting an entree, it will still be too much but not to such an extreme.

Words cannot begin to describe the joy I felt in the Gasthof. Everything is happy and the food is incredibly good. I almost regret the fact that Germany didn't conquer the world.

Go there, and make reservations if you have a party greater than two.

Atmosphere: Loud, but friendly. The decor makes the place inviting.
Food: Abundant.
Service: Great considering the circumstances.

Website: http://www.gasthofzg.com/

P.S. If you see an Asian girl in the German maid outfit, don't be too put off, just remember that equal opportunity employment is a good thing.

"Oi! Oi! Oi!"

Masbon Vouvray (2005)

Vouvray is a personal favorite wine, and one that many of my friends love. It is almost a perfect wine for people who don't ordinarily like wine. By French law, Vouvray must be made from 100% Chenin Blanc and be from the Loire Valley. Most Vouvrays will have a bit of residual sugar, but will be more acidic than a Riesling or Gewurztraminer. The acid balances the wine, making it easier to drink and also easier to pair with food than a sweeter white or one with no residual sugar.

This was my first time trying Masbon Vouvray. It was on sale at Surdyk's in Minneapolis for USD 10.99. If you don't wish to read any further, know that I would never pay any more than that for this particular Vouvray.

Straight out of the bottle there was simply too much acid. It was present in the nose and dominating in the body. It is one thing to have a dry wine. It is another for a wine to have so much acid that it just seems dry. Masbon displayed the latter. A good minute of aeration per glass took off much of the acid and left an inoffensive and only slightly interesting drink.

Lacheteau (USD 6.99) still remains the value king of Vouvrays in my opinion, and Monmousseau (USD 12.99) is far better balanced and dynamic for the price.

I couldn't find a website, don't bother with this one anyway.

St. Supery Moscato (2005)

This particular bottle was obtained while trying to find a good deal on the St. Supery Sauvignon Blanc. I thought it would make a nice dessert wine, but later found it served much better as an aperitif. You may decide differently.

At any rate, this was quite a nice sweet white. St. Supery claims it is made from 100% Muscat Canelli (Bianco) grapes. The wine has a lovely color, something between a moon and a pale orange. The nose is of course very sweet and fruity, with lychee being the main note, followed by honey and light notes of pineapple and strawberry and a whiff of acidic citrus.

The body is extremely well balanced. Straight out of the bottle there is a nice amount of acid to offset the sweetness from the residual sugar. Once again, lychee is the prevalent flavor. The residual sugar tastes like honey, and the acid wraps the body up in lemon. A few seconds of aeration will drop the acid off and leave a sweeter, but still not cloying body.

I can't quite explain why, but this wine just seemed to serve better before a meal than after. St. Supery distributes all their wines with synthetic corks, so it is questionable whether or not a few years of bottle aging would affect the wine at all to make it a better dessert wine. For an aperitif, it is lovely. This particular bottle was on clearance at Lakeridge Liquors in St. Paul, MN for USD 13.99.

Website (2006, no listing for 2005): http://www.stsupery.com/wines/stsupery/moscato.html

St. Supery Napa Valley Sauvignon Blanc (2006)

St. Supery has been my favorite Sauvignon Blanc since I started drinking wine more regularly. My first experience with St. Supery's Sauvignon Blanc was at Nami. It was a 2003 vintage, and fantastic with sushi. The previous visit I made to Nami the server recommended a Geyser Peak Sauvignon Blanc. I still have not completely forgiven that server for recommending that over St. Supery. I have since had every vintage from 2003 to the one reviewed now. For those who do not wish to read any further, this is possibly their best year yet.

The nose has the typical aromas of citrus, only more definable in this vintage compared to others. 2003-2005 simply smelled generally citrusy with grapefruit being the most noticeable. In the 2006 one is able to pick up grapefruit, lemon, lime, and whiffs of pineapple and strawberry. There is also a general sweetness on the nose.

The body is characteristically dry and acidic. The people I was drinking with were surprised at how dry the body was compared to the nose. Grapefruit is once again the most prevalent taste in the body, but the lime is present to, along with a hint of nuttiness at the crisp, medium finish.

At the MGM on Rice Street in St. Paul, MN (which was kind enough to special order this stock in for me) a bottle will cost USD 21.99. This is a significant increase, as 2005 had cost 15.99. I will have to check a store that regularly stocks this varietal as the special order may have affected cost. However, I do believe that St. Supery had not been charging what the wine was worth in previous years and the cost is justified for this excellent dry white.

We had it with our salad course and it was a good pairing. As with most Sauvignon Blancs, pair with anything you might think of putting lemon on and enjoy.

Website: http://www.stsupery.com/wines/stsupery/sauvignonblanc.html .

El Burrito Mercado

El Burrito Mercado is a place I had been meaning to go to for a while and simply hadn't made it to. it was chosen today by my friend who decided it would be a nice place to go for my birthday lunch. At 1 PM on a Sunday the parking lot was quite full. outside a tent was set up and a man was grilling food. The brightly colored building attracts many people for various reasons. There is the market itself, El Cafe, and then a cafeteria style fast dining section.

We went to the cafeteria line and were greeted with a simple selection. I had the burrito platter and it was wonderful. The tortilla itself was crisp and flaky yet soft and buttery. Inside I chose the Carne Asada and all of the other usual fillings. At El Burrito Mercado, Carne Asada means skirt steak perfectly prepared. Even with a bit of a line, service was quick and seating was available.

If this write-up seems short, it's because it is. El Burrito Mercado is a lovely place to get a lot of food for a low price. If you happen to be in St. Paul's "Little Mexico" area, go there instead of your usual Chipotle.

I do of course plan on going back and seeing what else the building has to offer.

Website: http://www.elburritomercado.com

Crescent Moon Bakery

So there I was, driving around town, minding my own business, when suddenly I found myself in an Afghani cafe eating.

I shouldn't have been so surprised, driving makes me hungry, like many things.

This particular Afghanistani eatery was called the Crescent Moon Bakery on the corner of Central Ave NE and 24th Avenue. Using "recovered memory" hypnotherapy I was able to recall how the hell I found myself in this place. I was forced to park on the street in front of the cafe (non-metered). From the outside the place looked like every other old building on the street, only color pictures of various dishes were displayed on the windows. This was a nice advertisement for what awaited me, I presumably thought, although it prevented me from seeing inside to what awaited me.

What awaited me, it turned out, was a number of nondescript white tables and brown chairs reminiscent of every cafeteria this side of the Mason-Dixon. This clashed with the ornately decorated walls which bore tasteful murals of things that may or may not be traditional activities of the Afghanistani people. I mean kite flying and horse games, obviously, for those of you unfamiliar with their rich culture and whatnot.

High on the wall was a really big flat screen TV that played some sort of Arabic television program. Unfortunately, the pain of daytime television transcends cultural boundaries. It was some sort of awful children's show that was poorly animated at best and relied heavily on puppets and crappy computer graphic fireworks. It seemed to have many of the qualities of any other children's show, only I had to stare at it more blankly than usual because the bizarre shenanigans that take place on a kiddie show make even less sense in another language. Also there was a snippet of Tin Tin in English, but that show sucks anyway.

Occasionally it played some music, and that was pleasant. But I wasn't there to watch television, I was there to eat delicious delicious food. I hadn't made it that far yet, because I hadn't ordered. Lets move on to that.

The man who served me was very, very old, and spoke very few words, most of which were very sincere sounding 'thank you's.

The menu was had reasonable variety, and the prices were very fair. I ordered the most expensive thing on the menu, the Sultani plate at thirteen bucks and change. I would live to regret that. Also I ordered an "Afghani Sheer Chai" for a drink.

The chai was delicious. Imagine your favorite sugary cereal, and the milk left over after you eat it. Heat the milk up, and you have the chai. Wonderful.

The food was a little slow getting to me, but there were several orders before mine. Eventually a man came out with my plate. The Sultani plate was some sort of beef thing, some sort of lamb chunk things, a lot of rice, and a salad.

The salad was very fresh and comprised entirely of lettuce, tomato, and cucumber. It was nude, but there was a little tub of something white in a cheap plastic serving cup which I will assume was ranch. I did not partake of the ranch possibility.

The lamb chunk things were very good, bearing a mildly hot but very rich spice that complimented the mild meat flavor. The rice was very good as well, and was of a thin, fluffy variety. It had raisin and carrot on top, which complimented the flavor with their sweetness very well. Also there was a grilled tomato chunk, green pepper slice, and what I think was a lime.

The beef thing was something else entirely. It was not unpleasant, except its overall appearance. It was a long, thick cylinder that tapered on the edges and had a bit of a pinch in the middle. It was brown, with a marble texture like wet beef jerky.

In short, it looked like a turd.

Now, I usually attempt to avoid eating anything that even looks vaguely like the server took a crap on my plate. In fact, if I am ever given reason to doubt whether or not I am eating a poop I refuse to eat at all. This is the risk I am willing to go through for you, gentle reader.

It was delicious.

It had much the same spice as the lamb, only bore a rich beef flavor. Its texture was indeed like moist beef jerky. A seemingly paradoxical combination, no? It was like ground beef, only the individual parts of beef remained flaky chunks like a dry steak would be. It was held together by unseen forces of fat and delicious magics. You really have to eat it to get a good picture of what I am trying to describe. Suffice it to say it was good.

Now, earlier I mentioned regretting all of this. At no point have I given any indication the meal was bad. This is the problem. The beef thing was easily a foot long and an inch in diameter. The lamb chunk things were pretty big too. Also, there was a whole crapload of the rice and some bland bread. There was simply too much. I ate until I could eat no more, then I ate some more. I felt like I may burst. Then I burst, which helped me eat more.

I simply could not believe how much food I got. I almost wished there was someone else there to help me eat.

I am definitely going back for another lunch.

No website.

Torre Oria, Reserva 1999

Background:
From the Utiel-Requena region of Spain comes a Tempranillo which leaves something to be desired. I bought it on recommendation from the manager at Winestyles, they had it categorized under the "mellow" section. It came in a bottle nostalgic of the old Spanish bottling process of wrapping bottles in burlap, though instead of burlap it was wrapped with golden fabric mesh. Speaking with a coworker about this wine, he complained he did not like it, though he could not exactly say why. He is primarily a Syrah drinker, my guess it was too mellow for him. And mellow it was.

Tasting:
The Reserva is a deep maroon/purple, with a nose of sweet cherries, tobacco, pepper and brown sugar. The nose however was quite misleading. With at least 4 distinct scents, I expected the body to be a lot fuller. Instead, I tasted some hints of a great wine, but was very disapointed overall. The body was complex, but quite underwhelming. Fruit-forward, it presented subtle cherry, and very subdued White Cavendish. Very low acidity, it had an extremely short finish, which seemed appropriate, as the body had little to offer. The only surprise this Tempranillo offered was a slight taste of mint leaves once decanted.

Summary:
Region - Utiel-Requena, Valencia Community
Grape - 100% Tempranillo
Mellow, body of cherries, Cavendish and mint

Paring Recomendations:
Cheese: Swiss
Meats: Seasoned steak, black or spicy jerky,
Dishes: Chicken cordon bleu, escargot
Contrast: Spicy foods
Compliment: Mellow foods, mild hors d'oeuvres
Open 15-20 minutes before drinking or decant.

Izzy's Ice Cream

Out on Marshall Avenue of St. Paul there is a place. It is a happy place, despite the bustle and commotion within.

On Marshall Ave. is a small store named Izzy's Ice Cream. From the outside it does not look like much, in fact it is quite easy to miss if you are driving by, especially at night. On a weekday, when they are not busy, someone new to the establishment would wonder why there are so many tables and chairs lined outside the store. Also there is the smell of waffles.

The rest of the time they wonder how they will get past all the people who are either eating or attempting to purchase their delicious, delicious product.

Inside the place looks like a bit of a dive, although the place shows signs of painting and other maintenance one can tell it is an older building. Poorly planned architecture cordons off a small section of tightly-packed tables from the long ice cream freezer. This leaves only a few feet for customers to move around the store until they get to the very back with the frozen cakes. When the store is busy (almost always) there is just enough room for one line of people to advance towards the cash register and another line of people to work their way to the back to queue up.

Outside there is at least a chair to sit in, usually.

All of this is incidental. It really doesn't matter. In fact, it could be several times worse and it would be worth coming to Izzy's Ice Cream. They could even have a small man yell obscene things about my mother at me and I would return undaunted.

First and foremost, Izzy's manufactures their own waffle cones, and puts one of those big malted milk balls in the bottom to hold in molten ice cream. They are delicious. Slightly less noteworthy compared to wafflecones, Izzy's produces its own ice cream, keeping perhaps 20 flavors on hand at any time to be scooped fresh. I do not know exactly how many flavors they sell because I am too busy attempting to cope with selecting from their exotic variety to try to count. Alongside traditional chocolate and vanilla are flavors like Norwegian Chai, Cream Cheese, Guinness, and Basil. (For those of you who care they also serve sorbet and frozen yogurt.) This selection also changes regularly. Amazingly, the ice-creamists that run the business perform the miracle of making the ice cream genuinely taste like the flavor it is named after with remarkable precision.

To top it all off, literally, you get to choose an extra free scoop, called the "Izzy Scoop," of any flavor you want. This is a small scoop that lets you sample from their unusual selection, so next time you know if flavors like cantaloupe or umaru will be worth a full scoop of your time when you return. You will return, so this is good to know.

The flavors are rich, the ice is creamy, and the prices are reasonable. My only warning, for the gastronomically faint of heart, is get a single scoop, because a double is a lot of unbelievably delicious ice cream to eat at once.

Atmosphere: Meh
Food: Yes! Until I burst!
Service: They go as fast as they can.
Website: www.izzysicecream.com

Addition: Also, they have thing think called a "Dizzy Izzy" which is five little scoops of any flavor. It is freaking awesome too.

Little Szechuan

University Avenue in St. Paul is home to some of the finest Asian restaurants in Minnesota (some may say the U.S.). Most of the restaurants on this strip are tiny holes-in-the-wall offering fantastic food and personal, somewhat quaint service.

Little Szechuan looks completely unremarkable from the outside, but on the inside one will find a reasonably nicely appointed space with new paint, tasteful decorations, and ample seating. I feel they did as much as they could with the space. The restaurant has a constant din, but no one had to raise their voice to speak at the table or order.

Service:

We went on a Friday evening without a reservation and were seated immediately. (Little Szechuan will only take reservations for groups of 6 or more). When we arrived the restaurant was about 2/3's full and continuing to fill. By the time we left every table was occupied with at least 2 dozen people waiting. Service was absolutely dismal, starting with an improperly dressed hostess who tried to seat our group of 5 at a 4 person table when there were empty 6 spot tables around (a floor manager righted this wrong). This segued into a confused serving team (we saw at least 5 different servers who apparently had not been communicating with one another). Servers were either not around enough or doing redundant tasks and also brought three wrong dishes to our table. The only good points about the service were the splitting of the bill at the end and the assistants who were excellent at keeping water glasses full.

Food:

The food was absolutely amazing. The soups we had (wonton, hot and sour, winter melon) were lovely, light starters. Fried wontons and crab cakes were best in class. Little Szechuan has two menus, the green one has more of the regular offerings that one will see at any local Chinese restaurant. The black menu is a bound, fully laminated 150 item plus menu with color photos of some of the items and a wide variety of exotic and spicy dishes. Our table had the stir fried fish fillet, squid hot pot, cumin lamb, stir fried beef entrails, duck with taro, pork with bamboo, and potato with green pepper. Every dish was fantastic, and the prices are very fair, the same price or less than other Chinese restaurants for much better food.

Summary and Miscellaneous information:

Little Szechuan has been receiving quite a bit of positive attention from the local press and by the end of the evening I got the feeling that they were not ready for business resulting from those reviews. The food was as good as expected from those reviews. The service was unfortunately poor enough to discourage future visits. Gunslinger and I have decided that it might be best to go for lunch during the week since there are many more menu items to try.

Parking did not seem to be a problem. The wine list was almost non-existent. When asked about a corkage policy, the server seemed confused and said something not quite coherent about how the restaurant did not want people bringing in their own wine due to liability.

We'll go again. I'll probably bring some of my own wine and just see what happens. We'll also try either a lunch or dinner during the week. Thinking about our experience, the poor service seemed to be largely due to poor floor management than the servers themselves.

Website: http://www.littleszechuan.com/

Nachtgold

Name: Nachtgold
Type: Eiswein
Grape: Undisclosed
Territory: Rheinhessen, Germany
Vintage: This one was 2004

A sweet, syrupy Eiswein, which is pretty much true for all of their kind, so this is not remarkable. Has a hint of a taste that I don't want to entirely call bitter, but there is some other flavor there that mars the quality of the beverage.

On the other hand, the stuff is $16.88 and still has the qualities that make Eiswein Ice-winey.

It is good enough that if you really need someone to know what an Eiswein tastes like they should try it, but if you want a superb dessert wine and budget isn't the issue get something else. In fact, even if budget is an issue you can probably get a late harvest for cheaper and in greater volume, and while it won't be quite as flavorful, you get a better value than from Nachtgold.

Perhaps 2004 was just a sucky year.

Edit: Apparently Rheinhessen is a region, not the grape. Thanks JMJ.